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Santa Banta Hindi Jokes Biography

Source(google.com.pk)

A Boy and a girl chatting on facebook...

Girl: Din bhar facebook pe online rehta hai, chutiya hai kya ?

Boy: Tu hogi chutiya... tera baap chutiya, teri maa chutiya... tera pura khandaan chutiyaa... aur fb tere baap ka hai kya..???? Girl (after 3-4 minutes): I was asking about holidays...vacations....

Blocked....

Banta: Tera Birthday kab hai?

Santa: Next week, Why?

Banta: Tujhe ghar ki windows ke liye parde gift karne hai. Teri wife ko tere saath sex karte hue dekh-dekh ke bore ho gaya hun.

Santa: Tera Birthday kab hai?

Banta: Next month, Why?

Santa: Tujhe binoculars gift karni hai, taaki tu dekh sake ki wife kiski hai.

Sometimes Santa also rocks!!!

Kripya Holi wale din... inka wahi matlab samajhiyega jo bachpan mein samajhte the...

Main geeli ho gayi yaar.

Aur kahi pe bhi lagalo... bas muh pe mat lagana...

Don't touch my balloons.

Kapde mat faad, mein dalwa rahi hun na.

Achha baba, lo laga lo.

Awwwww.. you made me wet.

Ek ek karke lagao yaar.

Tel laga kar ana, warna nahin jayega.

Yaar mere gubaare mei chhed hai.

Hold my pichkari while I blow your balloons.

She: "Your pichkari is not working".

He: "Blow it from front and then try again."

Pappu ke right side ki ball kat gayi. Doctor ne operate kiya aur mitti ka bana ke laga diya.

After two months Pappu went back to doctor and said furiously: Oye doctor nikal bahar teri maa ki aankh, tune mitti ka bana ke laga diya.

Docto: Kamaal hai, tujhe kaise pata chala?

Pappu: Pata toh chalna hi jana tha, LEFT side me baal nikal rahe hai, aur bhench** right side me GHAAS nikal rahi hai.

Santa ki party mein dinner karte hue Banta ke paas Jeeto ji aayi aur boli, "Kya Banta ji, aapne toh kuch liya hi nahi," aur chicken ki ek tangri uthha ke unki plate mein rakh diya.

Party khatam hone par Santa ne Banta se puchha, "Oye yaar Banta, khana kaisa tha?"

Banta, "Dishes toh sabhi badiya thi, par last mein bhabhi ji ne jo taang utha ke di na uska toh maza hi kuch aur tha, wah yaar mazaa aa gya ."

Banta: Why are you hospitalised?

Santa: Padosan ki BILLI mere MURGE ke peeche padi hui thi. Maine uske husband ko english mein bataya, usne mujhe bahut maara...

Banta: Englih mein, aur vo bhi tumne? Aisa kya bola tumne English mein?

Santa: Control your wife's pussy, she is after my cock...!"

Santa bada dukhi sa hokar apne ek khaas Doctor dost ke pass jata hai aur apni samasya batata hai.

Santa: Yaar, koi sasta tareeka batao pregnency rokne ka.

Doctor: Condom lo.

Santa: Mahanga hai.

Doctor: Mala D lo.

Santa: Ye bhi mahangi hai.

Doctor: Nasbandi karwa lo.

Santa: Ye bhi kaafi mehnga hai.

Doctor, Gusse Se: Abe kamine, kanjoos kahnin ke, tum apni wife ke saath sex karna band kyun nahin kar dete?

Santa: Ye tarika toh paanch saal se try kar raha hoon phir bhi meri biwi pregnent ho jati hai.

Boss was fucking a lady in his office, Santa walked in.

Santa: Wah Sir, akele akele!!! Humara number kab?

Boss: Agar March ka target pura nahi hua bhosdike to agala number tera hi hai.

Pappu: Papa mujhe ek ladki se pyar ho gaya hai.

Santa: Wow kaun hai vo kushnasib ladki?

Pappu:- Pinky, apne Padosi Gupta ji ki Beti.

Santa: Ohh no beta, mein tumhe kuch batana chahta hun but tum promise karo mummy ko nahi bataoge.

Pappu: Promise nahi bataunga.

Santa: Actually Pinky tumhari sister hai.

Ye sun kar Pappu ne pinky ko bhula diya aur phir 2 mahine baad...

Pappu: Papa mujhe phirse ek ladki se pyar ho gaya hai, aur vo ladki bahut hot hai.

Santa: Wow! Ye to bahut achchi baat hai. Kaun hai vo ladki ?

Pappu: Rashmi, Apne padosi Vermaji ki beti.

Santa: Ohh no phir se, beta Rashmi bhi tumhari behan hai.

Pappu pagal hone laga tha, usne tang aakar rote huye apni mummy se kaha: Meine 6 ladkiyo se pyar kiya lekin sab papa ki betiyaan nikali.

Preeto: Aale aale, mera bachcha ro mat tu kisi se bhi pyar kar, tu unki mat sun vo tumhare papa nahi hai...

Ek din Banta apni wife Preeto ko khush karne ke liye idlis bana raha tha.

Wife: Arre wah darling, kya first-class idli bani hain. Ek baat batao tum itni achchi aur badi idlis kaise banate ho?

Banta: Oye, mere paas idli banane wala ek bada khaas type ka kapda hai. Yeh Dekho....

Wife: Haraamkhor yeh idli kapda nahin meri BRA hai....

santa: I want to be in a relationship.

Girl: It's okay but under one condition.

santa: Which one ?

Girl : No sex, because I am preserving it for my future husband.

santa: That's okay, I also have my condition.

Girl: Which one ?

santa: No using of my money because I am preserving it for my future wife!!!

Girl: Lo tum toh serious ho gaye... Arre I was kidding jaanu...